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Amanda White

Scared of Success

My friend asked me how my YouTube thing was going tonight a few nights ago. All I could say was that I hadn’t done anything yet. I was working on it. The truth is, I’m always working on it. I have yet to get out of build mode. And to be honest, I haven’t done much building. All the thoughts I have and brand building is in my head. There are no tangible, physical manifestations of any of my ideas. I keep putting it off because I don’t have all the right equipment, or backdrop, or camera, or content; versus just starting and building as I grow. I consider myself a creative and sometimes I can only envision the whole picture. The details of getting it done can render me helpless. What’s that saying? Analysis paralysis. That’s me. I get too caught up in the details and find it hard to make any strides towards the goal if I feel like it’s not going in the right order.

Also, people are so cruel behind a computer now and I have a tender heart. I don’t have thick skin, never have. But when there is a vision, a dream, an idea that has been placed inside to be manifested, how dare you allow ‘people’ who can’t support the vision stop you? So I am now in “building mode”. I have started to list the items I feel would assist me in moving this process along so I am not discouraged by the entire process. I will attach time frames to those items, making it more manageable to handle. I am making my creative space more workable. It has to be for my thoughts to flow freely. I’m telling myself that I have to work on my goals every day. I can’t work 36 hours for someone else (I’m a nurse. That’s full time for me. Thank goodness!), and only spend 3 hours on my own brand. I won’t progress like I want to. I won’t progress like I should. So here’s to working on my goal before 2016. Here’s to finding the courage to obtain what I feel is already mine. I hope you take this time to reflect on goals you’ve allowed to collect dust. May 2016 bring goal achieving milestones for you!

xoxo, Panda

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