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Amanda White

Hello, I’m Your Dad


A few days ago, I received the sweetest text from my Dad and it warmed my heavy heart. Our relationship is still new and blossoming at its own pace. Relationships between adult children and parents can be difficult, especially if that parent has been absent. I come from a single parent household. It has been my mom and I for my entire life with brief interludes by men that didn’t go the distance. So last January, when my father reached out in an attempt to connect with me, I was shocked. I always thought I would be the one to find him; to reach out to him after all these years. Come to find out, he’s been trying to find me all over social media (as best he can, he’s an older guy). It was a surreal feeling talking on the phone with the man who had a hand in creating me for ALMOST 3 HOURS. Like one hour per decade he has been absent.  I went from only child, to 1 of 6. I went from the only girl, to 1 of 3. It is crazy to know that I am a part of a larger family; and that they know about my existence. They know my name. They have been waiting for their father, OUR father, to finally find me so that we can reunite. This is crazy and amazing all at the same time.

We met Christmas day in San Diego, CA. It was a quiet ride down. What would he look like? Will I see any of my features in him? Will we even like each other’s personalities? So many questions! All my questions, anxieties, fears melted away when my father embraced me for the first time. It was everything I needed in that moment. It was beautiful. We spent the next three hours talking about life, chatting about his childhood, and just having regular conversation. I even was able to meet my aunt! Extra, special bonus! What a blessing!

It has been almost a year since we met and we are still building our relationship. To be honest, I am still trying to remember that I have such easy access to my dad. It’s a difficult adjustment. I have talked to all my siblings, which is also an adjustment. They are all so sweet and I’m blessed to be able to call them all my siblings. I can’t wait to meet more of them face to face.

I am going to take this new chapter in my life one day at a time. I am going to keep my expectations low. I don’t want to get too excited and be disappointed. I am coming with an open heart and discernment. It’s going to be one heck of a ride people.

Have you ever reconnected with a long-lost relative or friend? Was your experience positive? Share your stories in the comments below.

xoxo, Panda

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